On a scale of 1 to 10...

Its Friday night, and this week straight up ripped. I think I just convinced myself to be upbeat all week and it worked. I just sold myself on the idea that everything was awesome. In the moments at work, where in the past, I might've groaned and said"Aw man this sucks. Too bad its Monday..." I just said to myself and people around me "Like dude, its Monday, lets make it happen, lets make it worth being here today." I was talking to more people than normal and it was all just an easy little mental switch. Like I faked it for about half of Monday and it took over the second half of Monday and has lasted all week. Feels like I am back, I might've been in a funk there for awhile. Maybe a year, maybe a couple months, hard to tell being the individual who feels a little down. I am definitely happy and can see myself becoming the person I want to be. Meaning I am setting the principles by which I want to live by. Its hard trying to figure out how you want to be. I think the best people just keep evolving, never satisfied with who they are. They appreciate who they are, but keep looking forward a couple years ahead, trying to reach who they ultimately will never become. 

My outlook on work has changed for the better as well. I think I found a way to make it worthwhile, and make an opportunity for myself. I am now available to get into a 5-8 month apprenticeship in another department. Maybe in event coordination, or in administration. I think one thing I like is planning things. Planning the next adventure, I find joy in the preparation itself. Planning a party, and executing. Might be a path I might explore. Excited to only have one week left on the swing shift and to have my schedule parallel Cheyenne's. One thing I think I need to work on is others sensitivity, not just in work, but in life. I am obviously more reserved at work, but it makes me laugh how sensitive people are and how we must tip toe around saying what we really feel. Maybe its because I dealt with contractors and more rough type people in past work where you can just call people out on their bullshit or shortcomings. I am a straight to the point type of guy, if I have a question I ask it. I point out what it is even if it might hurt someone. If I am going to be happy in a more sensitive workplace, I think I need to understand that is how people operate. It just makes me wonder why people get so upset over such little things. It also makes me laugh because at work, the biggest shortcoming is communication (like most team settings), yet there is no true open dialogue. Work was awesome all week, but someone took a box cutter to their wrist on accident today and holy lord it looked like a murder scene and the blood trail was easily 50 meters long. It was really brutal and hard to watch happen. Kid is about 22 and he was pale as a ghost when the EMTs rolled him out of the building. Ive never seen someone loose than much blood so most of Friday was a little bit eerie.

Listened to some really cool podcasts as well this week while working. The one that stood out most to me was a conversation between Joe Rogan (who i'm not the biggest fan of) and Colin O'Brady. Colin is a legendary adventure type guy. He was the first person to solo walk across Antartica, he rowed across the deadliest sea in the world, The Drake Passage, he climbed the 7 summits within about a year. Just a super crazy guy who I kind of look up to. He talked about his adventures but one little bit really touched a note with my thinking about life. He had this idea about a 1 to 10 scale. The scale is about joy, so a 1 would be like someone you loved died, or something bad happening. A 10 would be like you just got married, or just having one of those true joy moments. One of those moments where its miles above happiness, that joy that brings you to tears. That is the 10. Here is O'Brady's theory: most average people exist in the 4-6 range. They might be happy when something good happens like their team wins a game, call that a 6. Or they might have a crappy day at work, their boss yelled at them, but it doesnt matter to them because they dont really like their job. Thats a 4. People get comfortable and cozy and they risk nothing. Why not risk it? Its because of the fear of having a day where its a "1". His idea is that without the 1 days you dont get the days where you score a 10. I can attest to that. Its in those days where it sucks, its a grind, and its painful, but its the 1 days that change you. You benefit from those crappy or hard days. You can play it safe, but why do that. If you read Dalton's blog before this you know that what Im saying echos this. A clear example of this was on our Kayak trip. You'd think it would be romantic to go out in the sea and kayak along with sea lions, otters, and your best friends. You'd be right. But it wore away quickly for us. A lot of those days were some of the hardest grinds I have ever experienced. I think we all cried at some point out of frustration or just pain. It was brutal, but eventually we had enough days (none of them were a 1, there were 1 moments, and some of the days were truly 2 or 3's) where we made it to Anderson Island. It was one of the most blissful moments of my life, a real unexpected 10. Laying in the sun and eating hot dogs. That trip was over 8 months ago and I have yet to sleep as hard as I did that afternoon. In retrospect that whole trip was a 10. It was in the hard moments, in the grind, where the true joy was found. It did not seem like it in the moment, only after did I realize this fact.

I rode my bike down the SEL at night, a barn owl flew overhead with me for 10 seconds. We were perfectly synchronized in our speed and direction. That was likely the most special moment I have had in some time here in Pullman. So unique and I gave myself that opportunity by cycling everyday to and from work. It was a nice way to be validated. 

Cheyenne is in Portland this weekend for a roller derby tournament. I am very excited for her, she is living out her dream. She is a lot more methodical than I am when it comes to stuff like that. She has been fully committed to derby from day one though. This is big for her, I know she imagined going on team trips before she ever really got involved. I am excited to her about all the things she and her friends got up to in that funky town down in OR. 

I have limited Saturday plans. Dalton is doing me a big favor this weekend which might result in Chey and I coming to the west side next weekend. I also hope to go skiing and snowboarding with Sarah, Alyssa, and Kayla this weekend down in the Blue Mountains just north of Oregon. Tickets are really cheap in the inland NW. 

I didnt clean up that garbage yet near the bridge I ride by every day. Need to get to it. Just trying to be more purposeful. Pullman is turning me into the ultimate granolie. 

If youre out there and reading this, stay livin'

95% Clean

Rode my bike to work every single day of the week. It was mostly beautiful weather on the way into work each day. I think I biked back home in the snow once this week. In some ways it feels like I have this little secret about how to make life a little better, I will elaborate in a second. My coworkers asked me questions like "Do you need a ride? Did something happen to your car?" Its funny to see the looks on their faces even when I tell them I only live two miles away. As kids didnt we used to walk miles, and bike miles all the time? It did not bother us then, why does it now? I think its because people think they have to live a certain lifestyle. Dalton and I talk about this. People's idea of success is so much different than what can make you happy. You could be successful in the eyes of everyone but have little joy in your life. You do not have to have it all to have what you want. I guess as I am becoming my own person, my perspective on ways to live is changing.

There are so many ways to live, to operate, and my bike commute is so simple but so enriching. I get all the smells of Pullman-- the coffee shop, the road, the air, the unknown. I see the minute details of the trees that I pass by, they look white but in the sun they are pink. I bet no one knows that drives by them at 35mph, because I almost missed it going by them on a bicycle. These are the secrets. I noticed out some of the rock walls have ground water trickling out of them even when its cold and they turn immediately into icicles. I didnt even notice the wall before I biked. All the biking trails are super clean in Pullman, no trash, I am sure some community group keeps it so nice. But a quick turn towards my work reveals a bridge where the trashed is piled up. Each day last week, I said I would stop eventually and pick some of it up and just throw it away at SEL, maybe this week. You'd never see this trash from the road, but if 95% of my ride is clean, why cant I make up for the last 5%?

My legs are getting stronger. I need to run more consistently. Chey has been doing a lot of derby and she is getting stronger than I think she has ever been before. I feel like I am normally the one in our relationship trying new types of hobbies and sports, so it is nice to see her find something that she is so passionate about.

Days are getting longer, summer plans are being formulated. There is a lot to look forward to.

Gaiter Repair

Fall of 2017 I taught myself how to use a sewing machine to make Chey a Halloween costume. Have been repairing my clothes here and there since then but I am starting to dial in my machine skills. Pretty handy to have. These are my gaiters. I’ve had em since maybe 2016 and I’ve beaten them up. Most recently on Mt St Helens I was completely exhausted and stuck my crampons right through them and even into my pants. Dalton did the same thing but without gaiters he literally torn his pants in half all the way down his leg. There has to be a picture of that somewhere. Anyway, in planning ahead for spring and summer I got these out and decided to fix them. 

     

 Lining it up and huckin it

Not bad at all 

You are the creator

I’ve always enjoyed challenging myself. I have sought out ways to challenge my body and mind. Mentally, the growth was to continue to fight when my body was breaking down and I could’ve just stopped. Like hiking or that silly kayak trip where my body screamed at me for days and my mind said let’s keep going. I’ve never really thought of other ways to challenge my brain. Obviously you can pull out a puzzle or something and engage it that way.  I have tried to develop mental toughness for life. Whatever challenges come my way I want to be as prepared as I can be. All that work to push the boundaries of my thinking. Not once did I ever consider trying to change my perspective on how I could live. I’m the type of person who makes snap decisions, I recognize that. I mean I just sold my car on a whim, in the middle of winter, to ride my bike to work in 30° rain and snow. I think I’m trying to slow down the pace at which I live. Which might lengthen my decision making. That’s where my new mental challenge is. How do I appreciate the little nuggets of my experience just a little bit more. I’m actively thinking about this throughout the day now. I used to just think about this while I laid in bed at the end of the day. It’s come to the forefront of my thinking. Which makes it easy to act on. Stop and smell the roses, right?

Even in a mundane work day of little significance, I am finding that I can find things worthwhile to make note of. Connecting more with people at work, learning more about them, bouncing ideas off one another, talking about their dreams and goals. Despite the fact that in general, I am a pretty friendly guy, I wasn’t actively engaging with my coworkers. Until I decided I could get more out of life by just engaging deeper with everyone. Seems simple but it’s easier to put your head down and tune out the world, though obviously not as enriching.  

I mean I even laughed when, on the second day of bike commuting, I came outside after work to find snow on my bike. I think a former James might’ve been a bit heartbroken at the sight of that. 

How could I complain about anything I’m doing in life when I’ve been blessed with the family I have? The wife I have? I think I’m slowing down my world and just starting to appreciate just how good I have it. I’m not taking things for granted anymore. Oh how I wish that was true. I don’t think it’s actually possible to do that, but I sure am trying to realize how great it is going. The world is still very open to us and the potential that lays before us is immeasurable. We are the creators of our lives. How exciting is that? 

We spent our Saturday in Moscow. This was a rare opportunity to see a sitar. I’ve never seen one in real life. Nor had Chey. It’s been on Cheyenne’s bucket list to play a sitar for over half a decade at this point. We saw that U of I was having a Nepalese Music Concert on Saturday night via a Facebook event. A sitar player was headlining the concert so we said let’s go. Who knows when we will even see a sitar again because they’re so rare. Might as well go see what happens. Well turns out that the concert we thought began at 5pm wasn’t slated to begin until 7:30, and we had plans for an art gallery auction later so we just kinda brushed the sitar idea away. But, In the super fine print of the concert details was a little footnote that said there was a workshop with the sitar player at 4:15. We threw our jackets on quickly and headed to the music hall. We found the hall and there was maybe 6 people sitting in the whole place. They had maybe 20 seats on the stage and the music director said we could go up and get a close view. There wasn’t even a conversation between Chey and I before we sat alone 3 feet from the performance platform. Two men with sitar cases and drums came in and urged anyone else to come on stage from the audience of about 20 or so other people. Everyone came onto the stage and for the next hour and a half we soaked in every word and note the two men produced. It was amazing to watch two men communicate with music in such a masterful way. The sitar is an insane instrument and is so powerful. I thought it would just be cool to see one but it moved me and literally had people on the stage in tears. It was an amazing opportunity to listen to stories from a very unique culture, hear the amazing life stories of two men who devote their lives to music. I thought the event was just going to be music but by the end I realized a sitar was so much more than that, it was an embodiment of both culture and spirituality. I think everyone on that stage could’ve sat there for the rest of the day listening to stories and the men speak with strings and drums. 

 I was hoping Chey would get an opportunity to touch the sitar or even play a string. But after hearing about the power and unique respect they have for music in the Nepalese and Indian culture I was nearly sure Chey wouldn’t be able to touch one. The sitar player himself wasn’t allowed to touch one until he had been learning fundamentals for years prior to playing one himself. The event ended and Chey, ever so bold, moved in on the guy and asked about the construction (it’s a pumpkin) and which strings where melodic, and if she could play a string. He said sure. It made both our days. It was truly an enriching experience. Chey and I talked about how special an opportunity it was to experience something like that. It was one of the coolest things I’ve done in a long time, all on a whim. 

Also had to try out Colters Creek Winery cuz we saw it the last time we were in Moscow and liked the look. 

Topped the night off at a wild art auction in downtown Moscow. We wore turtle necks to fit the crowd. It was the right call but we forgot our scarves and black framed glasses. I thought that was more of an architect stereotype but I guess it’s an art world thing as well. We bid 50$ on a blue spoon. We also bid 50$ on a cat painting. Unfortunately the cat bed that someone made was auctioned for like 500$ or something so a Chey couldn’t get our cats the bed they so deserve (it came with a matching nightstand as well)

Guess our cats will have to make do with using us as beds instead. 

Stay livin 

La Bicicleta

Today I sold my car. I had it for two years. Didn’t drive it all that much only about 20k miles total. I was definitely paranoid it was going to leave me stranded all the time. And it did once. But it broke several times and I always limped it home. I sold it to a guy who was very excited about it. Now he can worry about it’s quirks. Maybe it’s because I understand how cars work that I was paranoid about it breaking. Now I am free of that fear of being stranded. For some reason it just never seemed solid to me. All my other cars I’ve owned did feel solid. Even if they also broke down, I just trusted them more. Farewell my old friend.

Now, today was the first day I rode my bike to work. It took me 19 minutes door to door. Not bad considering I had to wait for 3 lights and the SEL hill is brutal. Holy crap my blood was pumping so hard when I finally got off the bike my legs were jello. The way home is going to be cake, but the commute to work is sure to make my legs soooo strong. I almost got destroyed by a huge splash of water coming from a car driving through a puddle on the road. I told myself I was gonna take the bike trail to avoid that but I was excited, forgetful, and just took the side walk path. I’ve now driven to and from SEL close to100 times and never once did it click in my head that the bridge I drive over was so tall. It made me a bit startled when the ground fell away so quickly as I drove over the bridge. I know for a fact no one in my building rides to work because there isn’t even a bike rack for this building, at least one I can see from my quick loop around the building. I don’t have a bike lock yet anyway tho. I need to get one this weekend. Also the brakes on the bike are toast. Need new ones cuz these do not work in the rain at all. Other than that a bike isn’t going to break on me and leave me stranded like my car might’ve. It’s not like everyday I was in constant fear of my car exploding on me. But it did cross my mind every once and awhile.

Stay livin’